Strictly incredible

Len Goodman, you're an absolute dick. 

This is by far the best Paso Doble seen on Strictly ever and words cannot describe how much I really hate Len Goodman as a judge. It's even made me find Austin Healy somewhat appealing.

And that's why I love Strictly.

Sister Act got nothin' on these

Yes, cheerleading nuns. This week The Telegraph reported that a dance troupe made up of monks and nuns were taking Italy by storm after cheering at a basketball game. Said troupe are touring Italian nightclubs and discos to spread the message of Christianity to young Italian people.

Is it wrong that I want someone to adapt this story into a feature film? It could be like Bring It On at a nunnery. They should bring back Gabrielle Union, she's wasted on Ne-Yo videos.

Shoutbox lurking on last.fm ...

One shoutbox in particular has me in stitches - this being the one for Two Doors Down by Mystery Jets.

A few examples:

"the apartment two doors down is mine, so if i had a beautiful drummer girl two doors down i wouldn't just be in love with her, but i would also get the rent payed by her"

"the girl two doros down from me is like 8 =/"

"two doors down > 3 doors down"

Four years ago

Feel free to judge, but y'know I loved it. Athlete were alright. Even that song that's always on Hollyoaks. Those are the only two Athlete songs I know actually.

BEDFORD IS BAD-FORD

This week I upped my Bedford visit count for 2008 to 5. THIS IS FIVE MORE TIMES THAN ONE SHOULD VISIT BEDFORD IN A YEAR. Although my reasons for going were pretty much compulsory (I had to interview some guy about homelessness for a uni assignment), the 45 minute bus journey complete with the pathetic fallacy of doom and gloomy clouds pretty much describes Bedford. Doom and Gloom.

Just a small list of reasons.

- Their Nandos is shit, and gave my dad food poisoning.

- There are only three gigs going on at Esquires for the foreseeable future, and they're all shit.

- There's no inbetween between chavs and emo gothy people. NONE.

- It takes 45 MINUTES TO GET THERE FROM NEWPORT PAGNELL.

- Their Primark mens' section is crap, and there's no Topman.

- It's like home to two of my exes (break-up reasons: one was far too clingy, the other had a vagina)

- THE BUS STATION STINKS OF PISS

- Heightened fear of being mugged

- Where the hell did their Subway go?

No offence to Bedfordians, but it's really far from a grand place. There's a really good Chinese restaurant there though. Small consolation.

I could never drive to Air War by Crystal Castles

Because I would probably end up revving up to 100 mph and that bit where Alice Glass goes "raaah" or "go!" or whatever in the middle and subsequently crash. Also, I can't drive.

Air War is the only Crystal Castles song I like mind, and Alice Glass is vastly overrated for someone who jumps about screaming. Even if she does pour champagne into a crowd (DUNCAN).

IT'S BRITNEY, BITCH

Except it's not Gimme More cos that was like bad Britney. This is back-on-form, fanfuckingtastic, pop comeback of the year Britney.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=gZSLIq6YiRY

And I know, Rosie pretty much did this same blog a few weeks ago. WHICH IS WHY I'M GOING TO DO A BRITNEY COUNTDOWN. If I can remember what songs I like best in rank order.

Uhm yeah, I don't really have much in the way of preference.

But I briefly remember something I wrote about how Britney's songs predict the future when we were coming back from that BBC trip last year. I can't remember most of the reasoning, but here are a few I can recall ...

(You Drive Me) Crazy - Is an explanation needed?

Stronger - Somewhat of an ironic statement at the time, seeing as she wasn't stronger than yesterday. SHE'S TOTALLY SANE NOW THOUGH!!!!111(LEAVEBRITNEYALONE).

Gimme More - ... cookies. Let's face it, she piled on the pounds.

Lucky - Yes Britney is so lucky and a star, but she cries cries cries in her lonely heart(?)

Born To Make You Happy - Because she obviously sung this to K-Fed during their steamy sessions yah?

Oops! I Did It Again - This could mean a number of things, such as when she releases some awful song or when she does something new to her hair, or when she once again displays her awesome motherhood skills or bangs some ugly bloke

Overprotected - "I don't need nobody telling me just what I wanna what I want what what I'm gonna do about my destiny." Srsly Britz? Because at some points you really could've done with a life coach (although not like an evil one played by Famke Janssen in Nip/Tuck)

Toxic - Britney's media addiction! And wasn't she on coke at some point or did I just imagine that?

Me Against The Music - See: Blackout album

I feel like I should be ashamed for being able to quote whole Britney lyrics and stuff. It'd be a lot worse if I was trying to keep up some sort of odd macho persona. Fortunately this is not the case and I think even gayzzz with taste such as myself deserve themselves a crap female solo artist to adore

Ollie Launn's choice - Ms Spears. 'Cos let's face it, she's practically showroom furniture (feel free to gag at my use of pun) in the music industry.

LOOOOOOOVE.

[Don't be surprised if this blog surprisingly disappears and I deny any knowledge of its existence.]